By Lyndall Briggs
Would you like to live with more inner peace, freedom, and joy?
Most of us would say yes. Yet when life becomes crowded, joy is often the first thing we postpone. We will make time for it when the paperwork is finished, when the difficult situation settles, or when everyone else is all right. Somewhere along the way, feeling good becomes something we must earn.
For people who spend their days supporting others, that moment can be a long time coming. There is always another person to listen to, another concern to hold, another email beginning, “Have you got a minute?”
Perhaps joy deserves a place in the diary before the diary is full.
When caring becomes tiring
Therapists, supervisors, and carers know that meaningful work can also be demanding. We listen closely, notice what remains unsaid, and make room for experiences that may be painful or uncertain.
Even when we love the work, we can become tired of being available.
I think of this as “people fatigue”: the feeling that, after a day of listening, even a perfectly pleasant conversation asks more than we have left to give.
You may notice yourself hoping the phone will stay quiet, delaying a reply, or wanting an evening in which nobody needs anything from you.
These moments are worth listening to. They may be telling you that you need some space to return to yourself.
What do we mean by joy?
Joy does not have to be exuberant. It can be quiet enough to miss.
The first sip of tea before the day begins. A dog’s enthusiasm for a walk you have taken a hundred times. A piece of music that makes you pause. A conversation in which you can simply be yourself.
Sometimes joy is the freedom to do something without needing to be good at it.
Calling joy a skill does not mean we can manufacture happiness on command. It means we can practise noticing what nourishes us, making room for it, and allowing ourselves to enjoy it.
There will still be grief, frustration, and difficult days. Joy can have a place alongside them, without requiring us to pretend that everything is fine.
Bringing joy into supervision
Supervision gives us somewhere to examine the impact of our work, including what happens when our own reserves become depleted.
We readily ask, “What is happening with this client?” It can be equally useful to ask, “What is happening to you as you do this work?”
A supervisee may be managing competently while feeling increasingly flat. A supervisor may be so focused on supporting everyone else that they have stopped noticing their own fatigue.
There is room here for gentle curiosity:
When did you last do something simply because you enjoyed it?
What helps you feel like yourself outside your professional role?
What would you like a little more room for this week?
These questions invite the person behind the practitioner into the conversation.
Three small ways to make room for joy
1. Create micro-recovery spaces
Between appointments, step outside for five minutes. Notice a colour, listen to the birds, or feel the breeze. Leave the phone behind if you can.
Let those minutes belong to you, without turning them into another task to complete.
2. Protect closed-door moments
A little solitude can be welcome after hours of being attentive to others. Allow a short pause between finishing your work and becoming available at home.
You might sit quietly, walk around the garden, or enjoy a cup of tea. The useful question is: What would feel restorative to me today?
3. Reflect on what nourishes you
At the end of the week, ask:
What gave me energy, and what drained it?
Then choose one small adjustment. Perhaps you need a firmer boundary, a longer gap between appointments, or more time with someone whose company leaves you smiling.
An invitation, not another obligation
Joy should not become one more standard against which we judge ourselves. Nobody needs to feel they are failing at happiness.
The invitation is simply to notice where enjoyment already exists and give it a little more room.
We spend much of our professional lives helping others build lives they want to inhabit. Our own lives deserve that same thoughtful attention.
Joy does not have to wait until all the work is done.
There may be a small place for it today.